Okay, so it’s not my normal thing to title my blog post with a quote from one of Cheech and Chong’s skits. Actually, it’s not even a usual thing for me to admit that I know about Cheech and Chong at all! But I couldn’t resist since this story is sort of “out there” in the bizarre realm which seems to be my life these days.

Finally after two years, I was able to get to the eye doctor and have my prescription checked. I’m blessed that the medical part of the exam went well, and despite the circumstances (you’ll see below) my eyes looked healthy and beautiful to the doctor.

During the examination he asked me if I take my glasses off to read. I said “No, I’ve never had to. I can see fine to read with these glasses.” He responded, “Oh, that’s highly unusual.”

The very next day I went to read something and it was blurry. Do you know I had to TAKE MY GLASSES OFF to read the type? I think that doctor cursed me!

So then came the part of ordering contact lenses and choosing new frames for glasses, etc. This appointment was done with a different doctor. I finally remembered to wear my contacts for the exam. In the past I’d worn my glasses and when it came time to choose a frame, I couldn’t see what I looked like at all because I had to take my own glasses off to try on the frames with the non-prescription lenses!

But I didn’t even get that far. Instead of asking me about glasses, the doctor went right for the contact lens exam. Since I was in ultra-prepared mode that day, I brought the boxes of contact lenses that I had at home, so that he could see the brand, and all the other stuff like touric lenses for stigmatism, etc.

He looked at the boxes, then asked me to put this plastic thingy with a hole in the middle in front of my left eye and read some text out loud, then did the same for the right eye. Then he made that sound that NO ONE wants to hear a doctor make: “Hmmmmmmm.”

“This is strange,” he began, “but I have to tell you that these boxes for the contact lenses are mis-marked. You’ve been wearing the contact for the right eye in the left one and vice versa. According to the test you just did, your left eye is dominant for reading, yet your contact lenses are marked Right eye for reading!”

For the last two years (since my last exam with a different doctor’s office) I’ve been wearing the wrong lenses in each eye! And all the while I thought it was because I tried monovision and was just having to compromise sight in both eyes! The good news is that new contacts, with the correct script, are being ordered. I will be double and triple-checking the markings on the boxes when I get them! And for now we’re putting off the new glasses because my script didn’t change much with them. Plus, I can’t deal with the decision regarding whether to try bi-focal or progressive lenses right now, since apparently that doctor cursed me and I now have issues with reading small type.

I went to work that evening and experienced so many technical problems with the computers that I was ready to throw my hands up in defeat. Every work station I went to had issues, yet no other operators were experiencing any problems. Even my supervisor asked me what was wrong …. with ME !

When I started my shift today I talked with a few of the supervisors and told them of my ordeal with the contact lenses. One of them actually doubled over with laughter. Another asked “Should we call you 6 Eyes instead of 4 Eyes because you were kind of cross-eyed for two years?” Nice.

Tonight I had more bizarre phone call issues to handle. During one of them, the customer was speaking to a man named Dave from some company and I was processing the call. At the end of the call, the customer asked to speak to my supervisor. When the supervisor came on the line, the customer wanted to complain about an earlier phone call (not with me, thank God). In the end he said “but Dave gave me exceptional service.” He was talking about me!

Since we have a rewards program at work for customer compliments, my supervisor put my name on the very large poster board, along with the compliment written out for all to see.

I am now known as 6-Eyed Dave at the workplace.