It seems to me (and probably also to you) that I’ve stated the following several times in the last year: If someone were to have told me what my life would be like, I would have hit them over the head…
But here I am again, feeling the same way. Actually, I’m writing this blog from a hotel room and I’m feeling several different emotions. I’m sad and heart sick because I’ve left my cousin’s home in Wilmington. I’ve also quit my job and am not sure where I am going. It’s pretty scary.
The decision to leave was made months ago, but the timing has always been off. I am so grateful to my cousin and her husband for opening their home and their hearts to me for all of these months. But sometimes a person has to face some type of reality and I guess I reached that point.
I’m not writing this to justify, but to clarify. I know that my cousin is hurting right now and I am so sorry for the pain of disappointment I’ve probably caused her. But I also know that for my own life, I had to move on. I have to get to a place where I am able to work and save and pay those creditors, and everyone else. It wasn’t happening for me in Wilmington.
So now I am taking a couple of days to pray and think, and pray again. Surely there is a plan for me in this life, I just have to take the time and let God show it to me. I’m stubborn in the sense that I don’t always listen. Yes, there, I’ve said it. It’s a fault that I struggle with daily. I hear, but I don’t always listen.
I stopped by the restaurant to turn in my keys and the staff greeted me with such warmth and concern that I wanted to cry. Each one of them came up to me to express how much they enjoyed working with me. That meant so much to me. It confirmed to me that I was able to do some good while in Wilmington. I was able to make positive changes, and I left the staff with words of encourgement to continue smiling, and to keep that positivity going. Truly, I hope that they do just that.
The entire time I’ve been in North Carolina was not all bad, and as I write this, I’m still struggling with the idea of staying. So I’ll take these next two days to finally decide.
Where will Windy go next?
Stay tuned….this is a time of transition once again.