I am a person who likes routine. Any relatives or friends who may be reading this are most likely saying “No, REALLY???” in a sarcastic manner. I like to keep things on a schedule, and everything must be in its proper place at all times. Such an organized lifestyle permits me to concentrate on other things such as thinking about the sanctity of life or trying to find answers to the numerous questions I have about innumerable subjects. In a nut shell, I don’t enjoy change very much.

This is ironic since my life has been full of nothing but change, and the last few years it has spun totally off the routinely organized axis I put it on. Go figure that my life has not turned out as I planned.

Once again I have moved. This is the fifth time in one and a half years that I’ve packed up all of my worldly possessions (which I admit may just be a bunch of boxes of junk) and moved to a different residence. Not only are these moves physically challenging for me, but the emotional roller coasters that the events throw me on are even more staggering. Have I mentioned that I also abhor roller coasters?

Over the last week I’ve been packing my car, driving to my sister’s, unloading, and repeating the procedure. I had the weekend off of work, so on Saturday I finished the project. I am now living with my sister, brother-in-law and niece. Surrounded by bins and boxes and all kinds of things, I have found my little niche here. I know that I will eventually unpack my things, but I’ve learned over the last two years not to stress about that. I must do that slowly, as I take my time to organize things in that “proper place” which will relieve future stress.

I am content in the decision to move here. I am forever grateful to my sister for opening up her home to me, just as I was to the four other “families” I’ve lived with since August of 2008.

But leaving one home to go to another always brings a time of much sadness for me. I struggle with the emotional ties that have developed with each family. And so although I will enjoy the shorter commute to work now, I will miss the calmness and the routines I had while living with Nonna. Most especially, I will miss Nonna herself, who I will worry about just because I am not there with her.

Living back in this area is still strange to me, even though I’ve been here for six months now. For twenty five years or so it was my “routine” to visit this place, pack up and leave. There are times when my mind says “when are we leaving?” And then I have to remind myself that I am staying. Okay, well, at least for now.

When I lived on Long Island, I frequented the local 7-11 stores for my daily cups of coffee. I also stopped every morning for a coffee and muffin or bagel (when I was not on a diet). The staff at these stores got to know me because they would see me every single day and I very seldom diverted from the coffee and breakfast routine. It progressed to the point of the staff ringing up my order before I even got to the cashier’s stand.

When I lived in North Carolina I began to frequent a local coffee place. Every day I’d drive up to the window and order my coffee with sweet and low, cream and vanilla. After a few weeks time the staff recognized my voice through the drive thru speakers and soon they would cut me off with “do you want your regular today?”

Over the last five months the same situation has occurred at the local McDonalds, where I’d drive up to order my daily coffee. Soon the staff recognized my voice and I didn’t have to go through the spiel of explaining my large coffee with 2 splendas and 3 cream.

I kind of enjoyed that routine and thought it was funny that the staff always remembered me. Now that I have moved there is another McDonalds that has been receiving my daily business. So far they have not realized that I am the same woman who orders the same darn thing every single darn day. But I have faith that they’ll get it soon. Once that routine has been established and I have all of my things organized here, I will feel much less stressed and life will once again be fine.

As I push through these challenging times, I pray a lot. The other day I was praying while waiting at the drive thru to that McDonalds (you know, the one that hasn’t recognized me yet). I started out by saying to God, “Thank God, for… You.” Then I laughed aloud just as I was about to place my order over the drive thru speaker. I had realized what I’d just prayed. I then changed my prayer to “Thank YOU for You,” and chuckled once again.

I know that God appreciated my humor, because that’s the kind of God I serve. He knows me, and He knows all that I’ve gone through and all that I will be going through in this life. He knows my inner heart’s desire and He knows that my trust in this life has been totally placed in Him.

But sometimes I think we all need to be reminded of who He is, even if it comes in a moment of laughter or through our mistakes. The other day as I thought about my prayer at the drive thru, I realized that I was thanking God, not just for being who He is, but for being in my life. Truly I do not know what I would do without the Lord. Surely I would not be able to press through difficult times if I did not have a deity to rely on.

Some may say that relying on faith or a higher power or God or whatever is just a crutch, a means to get to the end of denial. And they can go right ahead and say that. I don’t really care. My faith has sustained me through the years of grief and turmoil and dysfunctional family interactions. And if that’s what it takes for me to get through this life victoriously, then so be it.

There’s a hymn that describes the “blessed assurance” of Jesus Christ. And I rely on that assurance every day, just as I rely on that cup of coffee with the 2 splendas and 3 creams. Knowing that no matter where I go, who I live with, or what job I am doing, I have the consistency of faith. I have the assurance that God is faithful to me, and that knowledge alone will sustain me.

Still, as I get acclamated to this new living situation, it would be nice for the staff at McDonalds to get my coffee order down!