Windy’s Blog

The other day I had a job interview for a better position with my current employer. It was one of the most bizarre interviews I’ve had. I’ve been on several interviews over the last four years and, quite frankly, I’m getting sick of trying to sell myself to prospective employers.

The same questions are asked in almost every interview: what are your strengths? what are your weaknesses? and the inevitable “where do you see yourself in 5 years?” Sometimes I feel like saying “honey, I don’t even know where I’ll be next MONTH, never mind in 5 years!” But of course I answer that I’ll still be working for that company, blah, blah, blah.

So the along with those typical questions, I was asked several others and we discussed the current situation at the company. The woman who is currently in the job is leaving because she’s relocating. As we started to talk about her, the interviewer became quiet. I looked at her and saw tears in her eyes!

Here I was trying to do my best to sell myself and now I had to be a comforting presence to my future boss! She was going on and on about how she will miss the current manager, etc. So what was I supposed to do? I could have rushed through the moment, explaining how I will be an even better manager, really digging in with comments that would show how choosing me for the job will make her forget all about the one who is leaving.

But I took the sympathetic approach, allowing her to take time out of “my” interview to discuss the other worker. I’m not so sure that was the best thing to do, but I am hoping that I chose the correct way to handle the situation.

My niece suggested to me that maybe it was a “test,” to see how I would handle emotional people. But I’m not so sure if it was intended that way. I think it was an unplanned moment of weakness for the boss. The whole matter makes me wonder if I even want to work for such a person. Crying while interviewing a candidate is a bit unprofessional, don’t you think?

Well, I should find out in a few days if the tear-filled interview was a success or not. Either way, the situation gave my something to think about and provided material for my blog today!

So I’ve been going on interviews and still searching for a better job because, although I like my present one, it doesn’t pay enough for me to actually live on. You know what I’m saying?

A position became available for an HR manager with the company I am currently employed by, so I figured, hey, I’ve got all those years of HR experience. It would be good to stay with the same company. When I applied for the position the current HR manager was happy. I know this because she said to me “Oh, I was hoping you’d apply and I’ve already talked to Corporate about you!” So I figured I had a pretty good shot at this job, even though they are accepting applications from outside the company.

But last night I went to work and my direct supervisor said some things to me that had me wondering. This is the same guy from the Go-Go Dancer blog from a little while ago. He’s the one who always praises my work.

Now, I know that he hasn’t been feeling well, and sometimes the things he says are odd (like the Go-Go Dancer comment) but the first thing he said to me was “Did you hear anything about the HR job?” I told him I had just applied. He said that he knew and then he brushed his hands over his face and said to me “I know, and I was (pause) shocked to hear that.”

I’m thinking “really?” how shocked could you be? But I didn’t say that to him.

He continued to say “is there anything you want me to say on your behalf when they ask me about you?”

I was taken aback by the question and then he said “well, think about it.”

I then told him of my prior experience in HR and he said “but do you have any Massachusetts experience?” And of course, I said “no.”

“Well, if I were you I’d go and get Massachusetts HR for Dummies and read through it. They will grill you in the interview.”

And then I’m thinking “well, OK.” But I left work last night really down. I got the vibe from him that he didn’t think I had a chance in hell of getting the job. Maybe it was his mood (or even mine) but now I was the one who was shocked by his reaction. Maybe he was put off because I had applied without telling him first, I don’t know.

So then I started to let his words get to me. Maybe I am not qualified. Maybe it’s a joke for me to even apply. Maybe the job isn’t right for me anyway. I was really in a “funk” when I got home from work last night and even woke up feeling “down.”

Then I had to knock myself in the head a little bit, until I realized that I cannot let this one man’s comments affect my life. So what? Yeah, maybe I won’t get the job. And that’s ok. But maybe I will.

I had to remind myself that I do not live by man’s words towards me. As a Christian, I live by God’s words toward me. And they are many.

I live by the word that says “with men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” (Matthew 19:26)

I live by the word that says “for I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not evil, to give you a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

And not just a few thoughts does God have toward me, but He has many. So many that “if I should count them they would be more in number than the sand.” (Psalm 139:18)

So I had to remind myself of those precepts this morning. I had to ask myself  “are you really going to let one man’s words affect you so much that it will spoil your day, even your week?”

I had to tell myself, “no.” I will not let this one man’s comments get me down. Perhaps he is right and I need to study up on HR law in Massachusetts. So be it. Maybe he is correct and I am truly not qualified for it. Big deal. I will stay until something better comes along.

But what I will not do is to allow the negative vibe to overtake me. Because if I should do that, then I am giving myself up to chaos. By focusing on God and His promises toward me, I am giving myself up to peace. That peace of God which passes all understanding. Some would call it faith.

And yet, like a worm, the man’s words keep crawling into my brain. I have to keep pushing them out. I have to keep replacing those “you can’t do it” type words with “Yes, you can” words. This is a battle of the will, and a test of my faith in a way. And it’s all ok.

Because at the end of the day (like now, as I’m writing this blog late at night) I am still a Christian. I’m still just a woman on a journey. Whether I work at my current job or not, I am still a child of God. My salavation was bought and paid for by the blood of Jesus Christ. I’m still here on this earth for a reason.

And nobody can take that away from me.

Absolutely nobody.

While living at my sister’s home this summer I’ve seen many different birds and animals. (None of which would be allowed in that store from my prior post!).

I usually get home from work a little after 10 p.m. and am outside late. A few weeks ago I saw a fox come from the neighbor’s yard, cross my sister’s, and head off to other’s properties. He stopped a moment to look at me as I looked at him, then he ran off.

I’ve seen a raccoon and some other kind of animal (it had pointy ears like a fox, but was grey in color and did not have the bushy tail like a fox). Both of these animals did the same as the fox, they stopped to look at me, then continued on. I guess I don’t pose a threat to them. Although I was kind of nervous about that unidentified animal!

There have been skunks as well. I haven’t seen them, but certainly have smelled them!

The other day as I was sitting on the deck I noticed a morning dove sitting in the grass. I almost didn’t see it because it was sitting in the grass trying to remain still. The next day that same dove was sitting in the dirt driveway, so well camouflaged that I almost stepped on it!

Yesterday the dove was there again. I was sitting on the deck and the dove was perched on a pile of wood near the garage. It became a little strange as this dove seems to have taken a liking to me and was hanging out with me for three days! Now I know where “morning” doves go in the afternoon!

Now a little bunny has become my pal. I don’t know if he’s living under the deck, but that’s where he runs when he gets scared. Each day he comes out to eat on the lawn. Each day he has come a little closer to me. I’ve been trying for days to take his picture, but he hops away just as I get close enough to do so!

But today the little bunny came very close and I was able to take his picture:

I’m not sure what’s going on with all of these animals, but I will say that at least I am entertained by them. Except for the skunk and that unidentified animal, I have enjoyed seeing them. I wonder what they’re thinking of me!